First drafts are too thin in some areas (settings, sensory details, inner narrative, dialogue) and too thick in others.

Let’s talk about the other areas – the hidden places weighted down by extra words.

When we’re in writing mode, it’s natural to add extra words as we think through the story. We repeat ourselves. We over-explain. We wander around some points rather than state them clearly. 

It’s not intentional, but it’s there and needs to be cleaned up during the editing process. On average, scenes carry around 10% of bloat, and removing that bloat results in:

• Tighter pacing
• Sharper prose
• Clearer emotion
• Stronger tension
• A more confident narrative

And the best part is that you will never miss what’s removed. They are all words that don’t carry any weight.

But how do you know what to remove?

This is the part most authors get stuck on.

So… let’s break it all down. *rubbing palms together in excited glee*

Here are my suggestions for the ten most effective places to trim (with examples!): 

1. Cut redundant explainers

We often add in words that are already understood and obvious.

For example:

“She nodded her head” → “She nodded.”

“He stood up from his chair” → “He stood.”

You won’t lose meaning, just the clutter.

2. Remove weak fillers

Words like just, really, very, suddenly, actually, sort of, kind of, maybe, and probably weaken your punch.

For example:
“He was really starting to panic.” → “He was starting to panic.”

Your sentence becomes stronger and more direct.

3. Eliminate stage directions

Don’t over-describe physical movement.

For example:
“She reached out her hand and picked up the phone.” → “She picked up the phone.”

Readers will fill in the obvious actions.

4. Tighten internal monologue

Characters often overthink on the page.

For example:
“She didn’t know why she felt so nervous. Maybe it was the way he’d looked at her earlier. Or maybe it was something else entirely.”
→ “Nerves prickled at the way he’d looked at her earlier.”

This takes a little more practice, but it is sharper and packs a better punch.

5. Trim description that repeats a mood

One strong image is better than a list.

For example:
“The street was dark, silent, and deserted.” → “The street was deserted.”

Let the right detail carry the weight.

6. Remove emotional labels you don’t need

If you’ve shown the emotion, you don’t need to also tell it.

For example:
“Tears filled her eyes, and she felt sad.” → “Tears filled her eyes.”

The emotion has been communicated! No label is required.

7. Simplify dialogue tags

Most dialogue doesn’t need adverbs or fancy tags.

For example:
“She whispered softly.” → “She whispered.”
“He said angrily.” → “He slammed the folder onto the desk.” (action beats > adverbs)

Remember, actions often convey more emotion than labels.

8. Combine repetitive sentences

Drafting leads to restating ideas multiple times.

For example:
“Tom felt exhausted. He hadn’t slept all night.”
→ “Tom hadn’t slept all night.”

Keep the strongest line and let it stand.                                                                                                                                                                     

10. Trust Your Reader More

Most overwriting comes from fear that the reader might not “get it.”

But readers are smart. They infer. They connect dots.
They don’t need every moment explained.

When you trust the reader, your writing becomes more elegant, confident, and engaging.

Remember, every line should do one of three jobs:

✔ advance the story
✔ reveal or develop character
✔ deepen the tone or tension

If it doesn’t do one of these? It’s likely fluff, and you can let it go.

I hoped this helped! I’m in the writing cave this week, so I’ll be happily adding in all of that extra stuff as I go, but that’s okay! First drafts are made to be messy. ◡̈